Review of DIFFERENT

The latest on sex differences from Frans de Waal

Sex differences of appearance, behavior, and psychology are fraught with controversy. Should we say “sex”? Don’t we mean “gender”? Is it sexist to say males and females – or men and women – are different?

The answers depend on who you talk to, of course, but from where I stand, the answers are “yes,” “not necessarily,” and “usually not”.

Why these answers? Because humans aren’t the only sexually reproducing animal – one in which two different types of gametes, each from a different sex of the species, combine to create a new individual. Put plainly, humans – and many other animals – have sexes; with two sexes being common. The modern approach in some circles to claim that humans have more than two sexes, that we should think only in terms of genders, and try to minimize differences is one that is at odds with basic observations of animal behavior.

In Different: Gender Through the Eyes of a Primatologist, Frans da Waal provides a nuanced (for modern times) and delightful read on how basic sexual biology shapes status, cooperation, violence, and mating across primate societies. While undeniable that sex matters for our behavior, there is also incredible diversity of how maleness and femaleness manifest across primates.

One thing that de Waal is excellent at is moving beyond the chimpanzee ancestor stereotype of what human’s past must have looked like. It is true that chimpanzees are our closest living ancestor and an invaluable source of insight, but bonobos are equally related to us, yet have little role in foundational evolutionary theories of our behavior. It’s unfortunate that chimpanzees were discovered first, because they remain the benchmark of human ancestors though, as de Waal expertly explains, bonobos are much better models in some ways.

de Waal’s expert analysis suggests that we can see human behavior reflected in a wide range of primates and we can see examples of different social roles for males and females in other species. Although we may view primate societies, like those of chimpanzees, as hyper-male dominant, there is actually a strong female hierarchy at play. This is highly conspicuous in bonobo society, too. Different articulates that our perception of dominance is a “cardboard version of the alpha concept” that only focuses on male force, rather than conferred prestige and political power that is wielded by females in many primate societies.

It’s unfortunate that we have two equally damaging discourses on sex and gender today: one that is made in the image of the “cardboard version” of chimpanzee society, and the other that attempts to erase sex as if changing our language can rid us of the inconvenience of evolution. Both are short sighted and do a disservice to the fantastic behavioral diversity among primates - including us.

Different is an excellent book, which was to be expected from de Waal who is a prolific science writer. His other two books I’ve read, Mama’s Last Hug and Are We Smart Enough To Know How Smart Animals Are?, I also highly recommend.

Published: April 2022

Format: Hardcover

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If you think this sounds interesting, bookmark these other great reads:

• The Social Instinct: How Cooperation Shaped the World by Nichola Raihani (2020)

• The Goodness Paradox: The Strange Relationship Between Virtue and Violence in Human Evolution by Richard Wrangham (2019)

• Why Sex Matters: A Darwinian Look at Human Behavior by Bobbi Low (2015)

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