Review of THE SWEET SPOT
Paul Bloom on why we choose suffering, discomfort, and struggle to make our lives worth living
Why do I wake up at 2 am to a hike a few miles through cougar country to see a sunrise on a mountain top? Why do I breathlessly run up and down hills in my neighborhood for a good workout? Why do I seek out work that feels purposeful rather than completing mindless tasks from 9 – 5? According to Paul Bloom if I didn’t, I would likely be less satisfied with my life.
In The Sweet Spot: The Pleasures of Suffering and the Search for Meaning, Paul Bloom wrestles with these questions. Why do we – humans – do things that cause us pain and discomfort, require sacrifice and struggle? Bloom thinks it’s an inherent part of the human condition. It’s what makes life meaningful, gives us purpose and, ultimately, makes life worth living.
The Sweet Spot is written in classic Bloomian style, with each chapter focusing on a specific topic that could really serve as a standalone essay (readers of his last book Against Empathy: A Case for Rational Compassion will know what I mean.) Bloom moves methodically through various dimensions of the ‘pleasures of suffering theme’ including, benign masochism (think, running a marathon), sacrifice (think, having children), and struggle (think, not wanting to be bored in your career). Across each topic, he delves into interesting research studies and examples for why we, in fact, choose to cause discomfort and suffering in so many aspects in our lives.
Bloom recounts a allegory of sorts early in the book that, for me, really articulated his core thesis. He explains a story of a man who presumably reaches heaven and has every wish and desire fulfilled on command with no effort, struggle or sacrifice required. Quickly he wants to leave the place and asks God to “please send me to the other place,” meaning, hell. “But,” God replies, “You are in the other place.” Without struggle we may slowly lose our minds – or in the least be so incredibly bored that we wish to burn in hell.
A common thread I pulled through each of these areas of focus was a clear distinction between life happiness and life satisfaction. Whereas suffering, sacrifice, struggle, and the like may cause us unhappiness (especially in the short-term), these choices often lead to greater satisfaction with our lives overall. And to get satisfaction requires us to find ‘the sweet spot’ in our grand pursuits.
Being happy all the time isn’t really the point, Bloom argues, but building a life that you are satisfied with – or find meaning or purpose in – is.
The Sweet Spot is a fascinating book worth reading to get a different perspective on your life, your choices, and what the heck you are doing with your time. As usual, Bloom has the talent of turning a seemingly mundane feature of our lives into a provocative intellectual journey. Personally I had a lot of reflections about what I spend my time doing, what things I want to cut out, and why I enjoy pushing myself in (sometimes too many) directions. But that’s a post for another day and another newsletter.
Published: November 2021
Format: Audio
If you think this sounds interesting, bookmark these other great reads:
Transcend: The New Science of Actualization by Scott Barry Kaufman (2020)
Good Reasons for Bad Feelings: Insights from the Frontier of Evolutionary Psychiatry (2019)
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